Short Change Heroes
by GiantAsianSticker
Summary: When Joseph Fowler dies after numerous unfortunate events, he did not expect to wake up in a Boston hotel. Especially Valhalla. Magnus Chase, being who he is, tries to befriend him, leading to a whole precarious adventure to stop ragnarok. Mythologies collide in this short and sweet adventure of stoic not so heroism.
1. chapter 1

**—Magnus—**

I woke up in the softest bed I've ever had.

What I should say was that I woke up in my bed that I inherited when I died. Maybe it was me being homeless... but my bed in Valhalla was amazing. Guess you need a good nights sleep when you die on a daily basis.

The area where I had been stabbed and maimed earlier was completely healed. The heavy wool lining coating my thoughts seemed to have disappeared, as per usual. When I blinked my eyes open, they felt crusty, but I was able to lift my arms, slowly, and wipe them clear. Stupid floor 109, using pocket sand.

Man. Being dead was really hard on a guy.

I was in a hotel room.

The living room area, which just so happened to be an open atrium, was the size of my old apartment.

A large tree towered in the middle, casting shade as its leaves fell lightly. Pictures from all my adventures lie above the fire place, mainly my friends, but a few showed me looking straight derpy. For some reason, the temperature was cold enough that when I exhaled, my breath condensed, but I was comfortable beneath the bed's blankets.

My room door swung open and a girl appeared.

She was too young to drink legally and she was one of the lovelier women I'd ever seen in person. High cheekbones, exotic almond-shaped eyes. Her skin was a medium olive tone, her eyes were gold and brown (heterochromia, if I remember correctly). Her curly green hair was brushed off to the side, she wore a checkered vest with lime green jeans, and she had no makeup at all.

Wow. Any person who could wear that and still look that good was a freaking goddess, or god depending on their gender.

It was Alex Fierro.

"Hey Maggie" she said, and smiled at me. Maybe it was just the bed talking, but the smile and her voice were even better than the rest of her.

"Uh... Hi," I said. My voice came out in a croak that hardly sounded human. I started coughing.

Alex rolled her eyes once smiling, before sitting down at the edge of my bed. She pulls out a letter and a thermos from who knows where. She passed it to me, and it proved to be filled with scalding hot coffee. "You do this every day. Talk before you've gotten anything down your throat. Drink you dingus."

I did. Starbucks. Or the Valhalla equivalent anyway. And it was amazing. My memory slowly came back to me. The sudden memory of me being crushed under a lindworm, ouch, while my hall mates tried to slay the beast.

"I think . . . I need a serious break," I said, after several sips. "Oh right... don't we have a date later?" She frowned, but I shook my head before she could speak. " No, I mean. Hey whats in the letter?"

Maybe Kvasirs mead hadnt worn off yet.

Both her eyebrows lifted and she smiled. "Sheesh, is thats supposed to be you asking me out on a date?"

My face felt hot and at the same time I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. I blinked at the sudden sensation and started to sip more coffee to hide my expression.

Alex laughed at me. It made the room feel brighter. "Don't rush. There's still time before dinner Magnus."

I finished the cup, spilling only a little on my chin, and then murmured, "I'm in no rush. But is that a yes?"

"Tell you what," she said. "Before I answer that, let's head down for the Valkyrie Vision."

"Huh?" I said.

Alex smiled again. "I think we have a new hall mate."

Her eyes sparkled and it made me feel good all the way to my toes. Even more so when she winked at me on her way out. I thought I was going to have a heart attack on the spot, she looked amazing.

"Let's go Magnus."

Notes:

I have no idea what I'm doing to be honest. But i'll try at least. This is my first novel that I'm ever writing so go easy please.

But all criticism is welcome, good or bad.


	2. Chapter 2

-Magnus-

The Falafels were perfect. Just warm enough, with a faint hint of hot sauce.

"Ohhhdmmn," I muttered around the mouthful. Then I went for more.

Before I knew it the plate was empty and I was scraping the last of the remains into my mouth. I felt exhausted and stuffed, though it hadn't been all that much food. Alex was watching me from the side with a bright smile.

"Uhh, it's all over my face isn't it?" I ask her.

"Like always with you and falafels." she said. She lifted a napkin to my face and wiped at it. "Kind of makes me jealous."

Halfborn and T.J. cooed in the background as my face flushed beet red. They were chugging mead like there was no tomorrow. Everybody was, the residents tend to throw huge parties whenever new einherjar came nowadays.

Me?

I'm never really comfortable at parties. Guess I'm just not the partying type.

Even when they aren't filled with violent demigods, mythical beasts, and some mental gods, parties are pretty tough for me. I think it's because I don't like to socialize too much.

There were a whole slew of new einherjar coming so the party was larger than usual. There were drinks, but I don't like drinking, mainly because of the incident with Kvasir's mead (still have nightmares). Plus I'm pretty sure I wouldnt become any more charming drunk as some would have you believe. The music was okay, although I couldn'ta understand the lyrics since they were in old German or something. Also couldn't dance for the life of me. How are you supposed to dance to classical rock? I'm just a super boring person in general.

So I'm there with all my hallmates, after a delicious platter of falafels, trying to make conversation with others that didn't involve the quests and adventures we've been on. Others have different ideas, trying to pry into every little detail. Since I'm not attuned to lots of talking, this leads to quite a bit of awkward silences. And then I start to regret every trying to socialize in the first place.

Valkyries flew above me, dishing out food and drink to the numerous einherjar. An occasional spear or grenade could be seen passing over head, with an accompanying scream or explosion.

"Oh crap ," Alex said, flipping her vibrant green hair. "I gotta go to my pottery 101 to the death right now."

"Oh, uh," I stuttered, "Have fun?"

Alex frowned.

"Really Maggie?" She asked. "Not even a obligatory goodbye kiss or hug? I did accept that date for tonight you know?" She started towards me, a malicious gleam in her eyes. I knew that look in her eyes all too well. We had known each other for a while already. She knew exactly what I liked and disliked.

She grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me into a kiss. Before I could even register the kiss, she backed off winking, probably feeling really smug. Did I mention I had an innate fear of public affection? Makes me all jittery and shaky.

Huh. Would it be like that if we ever, like... married or something?

Whoa, where'd that idea come from? All the recent, if entirely bent, romance? My heard did a little rabbitlike maneuver, beating much too fast for a few seconds. Oh gods, did I just have a panic attack? At the notion of a deeper relationship with Alex? Though... now that I thought about, I was still technically sixteen, I hadn't ever seen myself having a connection with anyone. Explicitly anyway.

I shook my head and buried the thought for later consumption, when I was ready for it.

There was still roughly three or four hours until the date, gods, I didn't even tell Alex where we were going. Oh anxiety my old friend.

I left my remaining friends at the table, while looking around for any excuse to leave. After about thirty seconds I deemed it impossible, and just roamed around without a purpose.

I spotted a nice, quiet corner for me to stand in, over by the Tree of Laeradr. I took a plate of extra falafels from a passing valkyrie, and started that way.

As I approached the area, a form that I recognized emerged from the crowd, and I found myself smiling. The person that came marching towards me wasn't tall, and wore some reflective, silver armor. Her helmet was tucked under her left arm, while her hijab was wrapped around her neck. Green cloth was tucked around in a formal fashion.

Oh, and she was also a valkyrie. The only one I was on good terms with, anyway. She had long brown hair, with olive skin. Her eyes were were a bright hazel color, shining with pride and brilliance.

"Sam," I said, smiling.

"Magnus," she replied. We exchanged a hug, which was fine by her. "Looks like you and Alex are hitting it off."

"You could say that, yeah," I said. "So how are the new einherjar coming along?"

She sighed. "Poorly."

"The usual then." I nodded. "I heard we have a new hallmate. How is-"

"Horrible," she said, rubbing her temples in an exasperated motion. "I think even Alex took this better than him."

My eyebrow arched inadvertently. I found her statement a little unbelievable. "That bad huh."

"Even worse," Sam said.

Two more figures approached us, both of them over six feet tall. I'm used to being a short person in the room. But these people were the same age as me. I was uncomfortable with being loomed over, it reminded me of the giants.

The first was a little familiar. He was dressed in military combat fatigues, all green, brown, and black. There was a mace with a haft made from the world tree at his side. It was the first time in a while I'd seen him wearing something other than a helmet. He had curly, white blonde hair that was cut short above his ears. His features were asymmetrical, and contained a certain roguish charm, and his eyes were an unsettling shade of cobalt. I don't remember his name, but he was one of the einherjar in the batch I was in, where he heroically saved people from drowning inside a boat with a fire extinguisher.

(Which at the time, to my dismay, was deemed more heroic than me stabbing a sword in a fire giants gut. Apparently difficulties had then occured, and I was only allowed to stay in HV by technicality.)

"Magnus," he greets, extending his hand.

I shook his hand in reply. "Uhh... 'sup?"

"Lars Ahlstrom, remember?"

Ahh, that was his name. Seems he has also been taking English to the death classes, he spoke near perfect english with only a barely noticeable Swedish accent.

While Lars greeted Sam, I studied the woman who stood beside him. Lars was a large man, but something about him suggested eccentricity and grace. It was like looking at a lion. Sure, it might be standing there all calm and collected at the moment, but you knew that at any second he could crush you with unrelenting force and purpose, and that he wouldn't even bat an eye.

The second was depressingly familiar. She was dressed in hunter's leathers, all brown and green. Astonishingly, her signature weapon, which was a massive two handed sword, was nowhere in sight.

She had shoulder length dark brown hair, with eyes gleaming gold-green. I didn't know her name, but I called her scary lady, or you know, ford raptor.

I know, great name huh?

I may have accidentally also made her angry during some class (to death), don't remember what it was, but she was always out to get me after that. Maybe she likes me, who knows. Sorry lady, I already have a girlfriend, and a boyfriend I guess, if you really think about it.

"Sam," said scary lady, nodding her head.

Sam nodded in reply. "Hi Sofia."

Oh great, they know each other.

"You know this kid?"

"Yeah," said Sam. She began making polite introductions.

Thankfully, before any introductions could be made, an explosion followed by a whole lot of screaming happened. Somebody was causing a ruckus near the seniors tables.

I glanced to my right, following Sam and Lars gaze, and spotted a beat down in the middle of the room. Einherjar were being burned, maimed, and frozen in all sorts of ways. Which I will sadly say, did not faze me much, not after dragon Thursdays. The lindworms may or may not have traumatized me.

But this seemed to be the work of one person.

A young man, not that much older than me was flinging magic I've never seen before. He had a long wooden rod in his left hand and a large revolver in his left. Also donning a brown aviator jacket and a Chicago browns cap, but I didn't get a good look at his face. I just thought he was insane, taking on six or seven einherjar at once.

"Oh my gosh, that..." Sam murmured.

"Lemme guess," I said. "Thats our new hallmate."

"His names Joseph Fowler." Sam sighed. "I brought him in, but he's been nothing but trouble. Did you know that he shanked Helgi?"

Lars and Sofia just laugh.

"Good luck with him," Lars said. "I'll take my leave now."

He and Sofia just walk off. Leaving Sam and I to deal with our Dirty Harry meets Harry Potter wannabe.

"Welp, seems like what we have here is a failure to communicate," Sam said, gripping her spear. "Let's go open up some dialogue, shall we?"

 **Notes:**

WOO! I hear ya guys. Longer chapters incoming. I just wanna thank you all for the positive feedback that this fanfiction has garnered. It makes me wanna write more lol.

Next chapter will be in my OC, Joseph Fowlers, POV. Where we find out how he died, and why he is so angry at the world.

At this stage, spoiler alert. I'm going to be mixing some other mythologies into this story as well. Like European faery folklore and some other ones. Dunno how thats gonna play out.

But hey, such is life eh?

Thanks for reading and as always, all criticism is welcome.

(Sorry for any spelling errors. I've had to re upload this like six times already. My iphone keyboard is ghetto af.)

Have a nice day!


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